4am // Disappear

Passed out at 4 am
Woke up on the floor again
Searching through the time I spent
Wasted on what's never meant
I just miss the life I had
Missed out since like 2010
I just wonder where I've been

Nobody knows I've been on my own
Feeling so alone, stuck inside
I keep thinking bout the reasons why
All my life, I've been searching for some clues
Only feeling more confused

It took a lot of work to be standing here
I Went through lots of pain to be very clear
But that's the only way I ever learned
you have to pay for all the bridges burnt

Just let me out of here
I just want to disappear
Nobody understands
All the space that I demand
I get stuck in overdrive
That's the reason I'm alive
Feeling dead at 23
That's just not the way to be

I just shrug it off
I just take it as it comes
I just shrug it off
I'm always feeling kind of numb

I'm giving up the chase
I don't want to feel like I'm losing pace
But I don't wanna fall right back in place
Living by myself with the same mistakes
Cover up the pain that I can't decay
Living in a space that I can't explain

So let me tell you how it's gonna be
Giving up on life is not a choice for me
Burning out but still complete
Sinking down in disbelief
Running out of energy
To fix the wounds that I received

All my life I just tried to put it off
I never shook it off
All my life I just tried to build a wall
That would never fall