Difficult

My double vision is only amplifying everything he isn't
Till I feel less attached and bored to death, but listen
It's no one's fault, it's just my terrible condition

And I've been thinking if I move out this year
I'll feel my parents slipping
Away and also I'm just scared of that commitment
I really think sometimes there's something that I'm missing

Oh, I know spiralling is miserable
I should probably go back home
Why does that feel difficult, difficult?
Oh, I hope I wake up invisible
I'd be someone no one knows
I guess I'm just difficult

To name this feeling would take a hundred thousand years,
some kind of grieving, but over what I never had
So I've been speaking to my therapist,
I call her every weekend

I meant to tell you
how I've hated how we left things when it fell through
'Cause you were everything to me,
where did you run to?
Was it something that I said that coloured you blue?

Oh, I know spiralling is miserable
I should probably go back home
Why does that feel difficult, difficult?
Oh, I hope I wake up invisible
I'd be someone no one knows
I guess I'm just difficult, difficult
Difficult
Difficult

I've been drinking
And staying up too late reliving bad decisions
I thought eventually my ranting here would fix it
I really think sometimes there's something that I'm missing

Oh, I know spiralling is miserable
I should probably go back home
Why does that feel difficult, difficult?
Oh, I hope I wake up invisible
I'd be someone no one knows
I guess I'm just difficult, difficult

Oh, I know spiralling is miserable
I should probably go back home
Why does that feel difficult, difficult?
Oh, I hope I wake up invisible
I'd be someone no one knows
I guess I'm just difficult, difficult