Down On The Farm

Way down on the farm, that's where I'd like to be
Away from the crowds and the smoke of the town
Down on the farm, down on the farm
Away from the city smells and the protest song
Why don't you come on down? I'll show you around anytime
Just mosey along down to our farm

Down on the battery farm
In a hundred thousand cells
Wired up and safe from harm
The legless chicken dwells
When we switch the current on
Each one an egg expels
With a sound like a burst from a Gatling gun
And haemorrhoidal yells

Down on the farm
Down on the farm
Yeah we all join in the fun
Down on the farm

Down on the battery farm
We've got turkey big as bison
They're full to the gills with bags of pills
And heterogeneous poisons
Now we don't need marriage guidance
That tender meat's deceptive
Just one thick slice, for the rest of your life
You've got a permanent contraceptive

Down on the farm
Down on the farm
Life's full of blessings on the farm

In the pigsty, shining new
At the back of the old hayricks
The pregnant sows all queue
For their regular morning fix
We've got junkie bullocks too
A-tripping through the tulips
If only townsfolk knew
They'd grab their walking sticks
And hurry on down, I'm telling you
Down to our farm

Why don't you come on down? See us someday
Come and see the old Volkswagen trail
A-winding eight lanes wide
Across the countryside
Down to our farm

Down on the country farm
At the back of the gay motels
It's full of old world charm
And it stinks like oil wells
Just turn in by the pasture
When your roving days are over
When I went down there last year
Found a mighty fine four-leaf clover, flyover

'Neath the spreading auto tips
In the cinders, dust and mess
For the shade of a row of petrol pumps
I'm trying to grow some cress
Our taties is just ambrosian
Though the dustbowl's looking meaner
Nice thing about erosion
You can plough it with a vacuum cleaner
Sucking up the dust
Down on the farm
One more time now

Down on the farm
Down on the farm
Yeah we all join in the fun
Down on the farm