I lie so I don't cry

I lie so I don't cry
I try so I don't die
Sidelined, broken, won't fly
Lifelined soldier, hope fights
The OCD, man, it's killing me
Rap is the only thing saving me
Tryna survive, yeah, I better be
Tryna find out my identity, yeah
I lie so I don't cry, I try so I don't die
Sidelined, I got no flights, but I'm lifelined so the hope fights

Seven years since Mom died but I'm still numb most nights
I wake up every day but I still have no life
Football practice three days a week then I nosedive
In the pool, football like Liverpool, yeah, those guys
Then the school, there I close eyes
It's middle school, then I go ninth grade
Little stools, like an old bike and wannabe bullies, yeah, they pitiful
They ridicule but they don't bite, like a Pitbull with dog cones
I'm sick of dudes that I don't like
Now I'm missing school, not most times
Like once, twice a month's time
My dad tries but sometimes he gets drunk like "oh my"
And he says things that hurts my feelings
And my bro frightened, I calm them both
I am so glad at the same time that my dad never gave up since Mom died
But I've been a father too, to myself and my bro
And this stress building up, I'm just fourteen years old
I value alone time, only then, I control
I respect my elders but I'm still scared of what'll unfold so

I lie so I don't cry (I lie so I don't cry)
And I try so I don't die (I try so I don't die)
Sidelined, broken, won't fly (Sidelined, broken, won't fly)
Lifelined soldier, hope fights (let's go!)
The OCD, man, it's killing me
Rap is the only thing saving me
Tryna survive, yeah, I better be
Tryna find out my identity
I lie so I don't cry, I try so I don't die
Sidelined, I got no flights
But I'm lifelined so the hope fights, yeah the hope fights