THE LEGEND OF THE HANDS & THE FEET

[Intro: Mr. Feet]
Back in 2022
A man wanted to start anew
So he bought his own guitar
Cause he couldn’t get therapy or a car
Little did he know his guitar was magic
His name was Franklin Hanz
Let me tell you about his past yeah

[Verse 1: Mr. Feet]
Born in 1868
This piece of wood wouldn’t know his fate
Picked up by some other world
Turned into a weapon for the war
A seamless guitar that can hear
To spy on the ones that we feared
‘Cause who would suspect a guitar?
He journeyed so wide and far
And when he found me
He was on eBay for $1.93
I’m like “Man, damn, this is a steal, this price can’t be real!”
He was being sold by a wizard
His name was fuckin’ Gilzlgorth
And I’m like “Man, oh shit! I wonder what this thing is worth”

[Verse 2: Gilzlgorth The Great]
I got the guitar in ‘92
Found it in the trash and I’m like “Oh poor dude!”
Holy shit it can somehow talk?
Holy shit it can kinda walk?
Not gonna lie I was scared of the thing
I don’t know how to care for it, ay
So I put it online, cheap for someone to find
And a dude dressed like a mummy bought it
I’m like “Cool, what the fuck is this dude?”
“I should know who my guitar goes to!”

[Interlude: Gilzlgorth The Great & *Mr. Feet*]
*I stole it from him…*
What the fuck!

[Verse 3: Mr. Feet]
Then hit August ‘22
I found another cool dude
And he was a puppet
And I was like “Fuck it, you’re part of the band.”

[Verse 4: Dolphineas & *Mr. Feet*]
My name’s Dolphineas, I’m a puppet
If you don’t like it you can shut it
*Yeah, you can shut it!* Yeah
*Lalalalalala!* Shut the fuck up!

[Bridge: Mr. Feet]
A man a guitar, and a dolphin
Flippity, flippity flopping
Not stopping
And fucking
All the ears of everybody yeah

[Outro: Mr. Feet]
Yeah I’m fucking all your earholes, yeah
I’m shoving my dick down your earhole
You’re gonna take it down your little earholes yeah
Feel me shove it down your ears
Shove it there