All Too Well (Sad Girl Autumn Version)

I walked through the door with you, the air was cold
But something 'bout it felt like home somehow, and I
Left my scarf there at your sister's house
And you've still got it in your drawer, even now

Oh, your sweet disposition and my wide eyed gaze
We're singing in the car, getting lost upstate
Autumn leaves falling down like pieces into place
And I can picture it after all these days

And I know it's long gone and
That magic's not here no more
And I might be ok, but I'm not fine at all, oh

'Cause there we are again on that little town street
You almost ran the red 'cause you were looking over at me
Wind in my hair, I was there
I remember it all too well

Photo album on the counter
Your cheeks were turning red
You used to be a little kid with glasses in a twin-sized bed
And your mother's telling stories 'bout you on the tee ball team
You taught me 'bout your past thinkin' your future was me

And you were tossing me the car keys
Fuck the patriarchy, keychain on the ground
We were always skipping town
And I was thinking on the drive down
Any time now, he's gonna say it's love
You never called it what it was

'Til we were dead and gone and buried
Check the pulse and come back swearing, it's the same
After three months in the grave
And then you wonder where it went to
As I reached for you, but all I felt was shame
And you held my lifeless frame

And I know it's long gone and
There was nothing else I could do
And I forget about you long enough
To forget why I needed to

'Cause there we are again in the middle of the night
We're dancin' 'round the kitchen in the refrigerator light
Down the stairs, I was there
I remember it all too well

And there we are again when nobody had to know
You kept me like a secret, but I kept you like an oath
Sacred prayer, and we'd swear
To remember it all too well

Well, maybe we got lost in translation
Maybe I asked for too much
Maybe this thing was a masterpiece
'Til you tore it all up
Running scared, I was there
I remember it all too well

And you call me up again
Just to break me like a promise
So casually cruel in the name of being honest
I'm a crumpled up piece of paper lying here
'Cause I remember it all, all, all

They say: All's well that ends well
But I'm in the new hell every time
You double-cross my mind
You said if we had been closer in age
Maybe it would have been fine
And that made me want to die

The idea you had of me, who was she?
A never-needy, ever lovely jewel
Whose shine reflects on you
Not weeping in a party bathroom
Some actress asking me what happened
You, that's what happened: You

You, who charmed my dad with self-effacing jokes
Sipping coffee like you were on a late night show
Then he watched me watch the front door all night
Willing you to come
And he said: It's supposed to be fun turning 21

Time won't fly, it's like I'm paralyzed by it
I'd like to be my old self again
But I'm still trying to find it
After plaid shirt days and nights when you made me your own
Now you mail back my things and I walk home alone

But you keep my old scarf from that very first week
'Cause it reminds you of innocence
And it smells like me, you can't get rid of it
'Cause you remember it all too well

'Cause there we are again when I loved you so
Back before you lost the one real thing you've ever known
It was rare, I was there
I remember it all too well (oh, oh)

Wind in my hair, you were there, you remember it all
Down the stairs, you were there, you remember it all
It was rare, I was there
I remember it all too well

And I was never good at telling jokes, but the punchline goes
I'll get older, but your lovers stay my age
From when your Brooklyn broke my skin and bones
I'm a soldier who's returning half her weight

And did the twin flame bruise paint you blue?
Just between us, did the love affair maim you too?
'Cause in this city's barren cold
I still remember the first fall of snow
And how it glistened as it fell
I remember it all too well

Just between us, did the love affair maim you all too well?
Just between us, do you remember it all too well?
Just between us (just between us), I remember it all too well
Just between us, I remember it

(Wind in my hair, I was there, I was there) I was there
(Down the stairs, I was there, I was there) I was there
(Sacred prayer, I was there, I was there)
(It was rare, you remember it all too well)

(Wind in my hair, I was there, I was there)
(Down the stairs, I was there, I was there) I was there
(Sacred prayer, I was there, I was there)
(It was rare, you remember it all too well)

(Wind in my hair, I was there, I was there)
(Down the stairs, I was there, I was there)
(Sacred prayer, I was there, I was there)
(It was rare, you remember it)