Moments

[Hook: MayDay]
All these moments
They're coming back to my mind
All those times
I fought so hard
To not become
What I always despised
I looked in my mirror
So that I could finally see
What I always dreamed of
Who my mother always
Wanted me to be

[Verse 1: MayDay]
I think about my past
Sometimes it's hard to smile
Been through some rough patches
But I know I'll still be alright
Never had a dad who ever had my back
I tried to dedicate one song to him
But couldn't even look back
At memories of Christmas evenings
Where my mother hid some presents
So that he wouldn't see them
I was only four but knew home was war
He grabbed her neck and told her
That her child didn't need her support
Money was always the issue
He would have choked on it
If I had given him what I make now
He was always finding bad habits
So he could finally be proud
Of using his arrogant tongue
And leaving bruises on my mother’s mouth
I'll never forget the nights
That I was still awake
Hearing him touch her skin
Hearing her cry out and pray
I swear if I had been a monster
I would have grabbed his throat
Choked him till he couldn't breathe anymore
But my mother was the one
Who always held me back
Told me that one day we’d be free of dad
Then when I was twelve
Saw my father walk out the door
Cause life was just too hard
For a man who was busy chasing whores
I never knew that being a father
Was really this tough
What a curse it must have been
To go out and do whatever the hell you want
And to still have a wife
Who adored and loved you
And I know I'm my own type of crazy
But I would never even think
About walking out on Lily
No matter how hard things got
Or all those horrible evenings
That I fought with her mother
Dealing with all the feelings
That come with being loved
And having to give love in return
Something that I learned to breathe in
Cause loving Lily was my number one reason
To work harder, to try to be
Nothing like what my father was to me

[Hook: MayDay]
All these moments
They're coming back to my mind
All those times
I fought so hard
To not become
What I always despised
I looked in my mirror
So that I could finally see
What I always dreamed of
Who my mother always
Wanted me to be

[Verse 2: MayDay]
And this type of life ain't easy
When you learn almost every day
That someone you love
Has been taken away
Someone shot and killed
Someone lost to addiction
Chris was busy popping pills
Danny was busy injecting
Right in front of his kids
They were all caught up in their ways
I still think about them today
I never judge anyone
Cause I know how it feels
To be trapped in your own devastation
To not be in control
No matter how much you love your family
You want even more
And power is hungry
It wants a bite of your flesh
Sometimes we become blind
Thinking that starting fresh
Means hanging our souls
On burning threads
The fire eats us up
And then makes us regret
Right in the moment
When we see that it's too late
The spotlight was ready
It just needed some time
For us to finally satisfy our minds
We're so busy looking for something
That will make us feel pure
We look for battles
That have already been won
We look for others’ scars
To heal the ones we wore
And that crooked smile
We had on wasn't so sure
We could manage the damage
And all the misery
We wanted to forget
But the past keeps on giving
It reminds us every day
That we're still learning
We're still growing to find
Another life where the light always shines

[Hook: MayDay]
All these moments
They're coming back to my mind
All those times
I fought so hard
To not become
What I always despised
I looked in my mirror
So that I could finally see
What I always dreamed of
Who my mother always
Wanted me to be

[Verse 3: MayDay]
I remember the day
Lily asked if we could pray
I held her in my arms
Told her that everything would be alright
Told her that no matter what happens
That she'll always be the reason for my life
Being such a blessing
The day she was born
I felt that nothing could
Ever stop me in this world
From following my dreams
And teaching her to follow hers
To teach her to never
Let anyone tell her
What type of life she deserves
To see her smile
Has been the reason that I wish
That my mama was still here
So she could see this
Moment of joy that she always
Wanted her son to have
I hope she knows that
She's always been my number one fan
The music always brought me
To a whole new world
One I've been grateful
I've been given a chance to explore
And I thank every single fan
Who supports what I do
Without you all
I wouldn't have any work to do
I wouldn't have been able to feed
My family those nights
I thought I was gonna stay broke
Even though I saw the lights
Flashing before my eyes
Telling me that I'd make it
And I'm here now
As a new and improved MayDay