For Mama

[Verse 1: MayDay]
Look at this photo
Reminds me to always look back
Childhood is a concoction
Use it to take some of the pain away
To remind you that now you're in a better place
These nights I've been sitting on my bed
Thanking God that I'm not dead
Remembering the days I stayed under my covers
Fearing tomorrow cause life was shit
I started making bad decisions
Making friends who had the wrong ambitions
Weapons and drugs became my love
Fighting was something I couldn't get enough of
Fucking the next bitch who climbed on my lap
Took them off their poles
And placed them on my bed
Ditched each one for a new one
Cause one night stands don't create emotions
That way my heart's not broken
Watched my closest friends die
One got shot, the others took too many drugs
Mama said I'd end up like them
If I didn't quit messing around
My only dream was to make her proud
But bad habits become destructive
And no one can make you stop
That's when you're stuck in a trap
One that keeps holding you back
And life's not going to save you now
And time's tired of showing you a way out

[Hook: MayDay]
I wish I hadn’t done it
I wish I had made your proud
I wish I had told you
That you’re the reason
I live by love
And keep moving on
I keep my head held high
To see you watching over me
Thank you Mama
Thank you for believing in me

[Verse 2: MayDay]
Yeah money's been calling me
Ever since I was a kid
Pulled me into what looked like luxury
But really was a pot full of pain
I ate envy and swallowed poverty
Spit out fame and held on to my lies
The truth sucked me back in
Mama was telling me, "You better get clean."
The night I was debating on it
Was when she could barely breathe
I rushed to her bed and took her to the hospital
Walked inside losing my mind
The doctor came out and looked at me
In a way I'll never forget
Said, "We're sorry to say this
But your Mother is dead."
I screamed and punched the walls
Fists started bleeding
And my tears washed it off
That day destroyed me
Took away every ounce of my hope
The day of her funeral
I barely held it together
Got up to the stand and broke down
Pulled it together though
Cause I wanted everyone to hear
The words about to come out of my mouth
I said, "Bless my mama
She was the only person who kept me alive
She raised me by herself
Cause dad was never around
Always taught me to put God first
And be careful of what I say
Told me to treat others well
Cause we don't know their misery
Her heart was the kindest
She loved me even when I put her through hell
Making the worse decisions
Not thinking about the stress it put her through
I just wanted us to have enough money
Even though she kept reminding me
That everything was good
I know she's watching over us all today
Wanting us to smile
I can't do that right now
Cause I'm wishing that she'd come back
But she's in God's house now
In the best place she could ever be
Rest in peace mama
Know that as of today I'm clean."
I stepped down and went and
Put yellow roses on her grave
Kissed her photo
And kneeled down and prayed
Today marks 7 years
I love you Mama
Know that Lily loves you too
Even though she never saw you
I've told her how wonderful you were
That you still inspire me to be a better father
Believe in myself and keep working harder
Thank you Mama for everything you've done
Rest in peace Mama
I hope one day I make you proud

[Hook: MayDay]
I wish I hadn’t done it
I wish I had made your proud
I wish I had told you
That you’re the reason
I live by love
And keep moving on
I keep my head held high
To see you watching over me
Thank you Mama
Thank you for believing in me