They follow

Ilia Kukava (Ilockey)

My hoody will always be wet

My hoody will always be wet
Cuz nothing can fill this gap
This one will be the last lap
Through the fears and darkness

Body means nothing only mind gives you something
I’m so scared I am running from anything cuz I think they are laughing
It feels like everybody is chasing me where should I go
Every time I look back I see they are coming and it scares me more
I see 4 directions before me but something tells me to refuse all
While I want to choose each of them but I cannot step on
They are getting closer my body wants to move unlike soul
For obvious reasons I don’t wanna do what I am told
Suddenly the setting is changed and I see someone is sitting on a chair
He’s burying his face in his hand he is obviously under stress
Bitten apples are scattered around him his jacket is wet
He wants to stand up but I guess – cannot dare
It’s easy to say something about other people then keep it real
At this moment we forget ourselves and what they truly feel
I’d cared less about him and judged him till I didn’t realize it’s actually me
In this way I am the only person who accidentally judged himself fairly

They follow You must leave
You burnt your bridge
Now you are under siege
All alone on a cold ridge
There is no coming back
Where you go to is named hell
Feared, shamed and mad
Wether alive or dead

Then I see some people’s bloody palms of their hands
I feel mine too but they are stuck in the pocket of my wet jacket
Fuck them, all I’m interested in is 4 candles behind of my back
But I’m drowning in darkness and want to light ‘em
I’m still not able to make a move that makes me crazy
I’m falling into insanity while I’m waiting for something amazing
Before I pull myself from this fantasy I want to spit in my face for being so lazy
Then I look back and gazing a huge wave of fire facing me
You wanted fire here it is, now move your ass off
But where should I go, I even forgot what I am fighting for
Out of the blue, I feel that my wet jacket makes my whole body soaked
Now I’m strong enough to step forward it’s time to weigh anchor
My skin becomes watery and tension boosts in my mind
This condition forces me to run into fire and removes a doubt – I may die
I put my hood down, step into the flame with an accustomed pride
I’d passed all fiery miles and now I look back with vampire smile for one last time

They follow you must leave
Surviving means to win
You burnt your bridge
Now you are under siege
There is no coming back
Where you lead to is hell
To where you lay your path
It can burn you even wet

I look more satisfied but It feels like I didn’t answer the main question
I’m still as hungry as I was in a first section
Maybe it’s because I hunted a whole prey lonely and they gave me a smallest fraction
I must learn my lesson sometimes words do more than action
With this feeling my body ends up in the same place stuck between 5 ways
I couldn’t see the fifth one so far I hope it’s not too late
Now I figure it out I’ve been running from it day by day
God is like a hungry doG in its ability to show and not to say
As we see often ears are less useful than vision as you were told before
Now I’ve come to the crossroads I should make a decision on my own
Do you know what it means to go to the things you’ve been running from so long
Then I look back to face em I would never imagined if the fear could make me strong
Suddenly, the crowd stops they are starting to split in half
I forgot every scar. Someone’s claping and I know where I should go at last
As I walk through I am getting surrounded by them they are gazing at me like a rising star
Now, it is dusk, but I enjoy something bright starts to shine on the fiery sky

Ilia ilia ilia ilia [symbol of fear as strength]

They follow I must meet
Surviving means to win
I will build a new bridge
To cross this goddamn siege
Now I came back
To heal my broken neck
What I look for is there
It’s so great and so damned

My hoody will always be wet
Cuz nothing can fill this gap
This one will be the last lap
Through the fears and darkness
There is no time to shake
I follow the wind of change
Tears are not feared by rain
It hurts if this is vain

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