Losing Myself

It's like I'm losing myself, I'm turning L's into lessons I ain't eager to help
You call it selfish, I call it tired of giving I didn't receive help when I was bruising myself
I celebrated all my adult years when I was only twelve
I'm a skinny kid, but heart matured and slowly dealt
Dealt with all the pain inside, so every time I write
It's not to cry for sympathy but rather aim to change a life
It could be one of you, but truth is deeper than rap
Pains a fever, many side effects a fever can have
Hypocritical for saying this, but people need to put GOD first, it would stop hurt
For me, I try and I'm surprised about the blessings a believer can have
It's not always about losing your way
It's more about the way you fight and try procedure it back
Beating pain is such a dream only a dreamer can have
My dream is now reality and that reality is a dream
My view is a black screen, even galleries can't see
Cause I'm my only optician, my view is so prescribed
To my own eyes, so my capacity is peak
I thrive, and I'm like Steve Winwood
But I don't need Valerie over cause my own truth arrived
You got a calorie deficit, I'm in need of a deficit
For pain, getting rid of pain is one way I can thrive
A home is only four walls when love decides to go
But if the love was never there then I relate to being homeless
And if escaping pain is narrow, you feel in your marrow
In your bones but in a dome, you're feeling hopeless
My culture's not your costume, cause it'll cost you
My culture is my truth and I would dare to see your boldness
I'm on a flight to be at top in my position
I'll do it with no help or the service of a hostess
Right now I'm uncomfortable, you see
I'm aiming to be comfortable
But comfortability can't turn into greed
It's the humbleness instilled in me, was born as an original
I mean originally, I was faking my sleep
My necks cramped in people's yards, like I'm in it deep
But me, I'm hypocritical I'm meant to keep it, humble
Cause I know that people had it way worse than me
If I'm in need of help, and you're in need of help too
I'll try my best to reach you and assist you, I'll stretch an arm
I may not be able to hold a hand
But I get it when you do and there's no point of putting up a palm
I'll still try and touch a finger if it means that I can
Put my shit aside and be of use so I can help a calm
I grew up in a place that I call hell
I know many flipping people who be tapped but they were such a calm
Soul that faces trouble, so their anger is misunderstood
When pennies are a need, you're asking people who come up good
Heartless people act like they're above and you're underfoot
I had a hole in my shoes, my mother understood
Staff in school are telling me, this uniform ain't it
I couldn't buy the formal shoes, but they don't get if I could I would
Life can push u down, but you're the the who gotta pull up
I been there and I done it, now I walk on the foot I stood
Break my flipping axel, but knowing me
I don't stop because I'm still gonna be steering
My pain was at the highest grade, I ain't one to fail
I didn't go to uni through the help of any clearing
People wanna show stacks and brag
I'll buy my baby diamonds and they're shining, so they're bright in all her earrings
There's no connection when it's coming to love
Like a Bluetooth device, so there's a process to get pairing
And rich is not money cause rich is mindset
You're on the phone to a lover, that's where your mind rests
You're hanging up and now you're looking at the hours
Hours went by, and you try figure where the time went
You try figure where the time went
But that's the hope you got in love you think you might get