Whereabouts

Where am I? World of my own
Where? In my head
Alone, and infinite, stuck reaching for what I know is fake

But it feels so real through the eyes of the mind
Like I lost something that I never had
I got something deep in my head that screaming
There's a lot of emotions it's dealing
But I just still don't have no feelings
Pain steps up so I end up kneeling down (Down, down)
With the thoughts that pound
It's the only sound at night
When the soul takes flight
Imma lie there, me, my mind and I
No one's ever been mine at night

I avoid the fights on the ground
Get high as a kite
I might OD, stay up in flight
Sit alone my room but I talk all night (Why)
Cause I'm crazy, it's what they all say
Old friends left, faces hazy
Don't remember them
All the life I lived before, I'm forgetting it
They fade, no point in mending it
Oh you knew me once? Don't mention it
This part of my life will come and go
I'll remember it later, or maybe I won't
Where did home go?
I wander alone (Lone)
I'm looking for signs of life
But it doesn't grow where I roam
People always telling me that I got a negative tone
I know I do
I fuck with the pessimistic view, it keeps it realistic
Woe is you
Woe is me, nobody else it could be
Honestly, I like being pitied
I come from a city where big dreams are retire at 50
That kind of life doesn't fit me
I left on my own, I left all alone, nobody came with me
Sit me down on the ground as I pout
People judge quick, they don't know what I'm about
I wanna fit in but I wanna stand out
I can't do either, where am I now?
Unknown whereabouts
Where I belong
I feel at peace when I end up gone
If I leave just know that I'm gonna be long
If I ever come back, imma come back wrong
On purpose, just to get ignored
I'm worthless
You see the dirt on the shoe? I'm worth this
Maybe I'll feel different when I find purpose

I just don't know when to expect it
I'm afraid that I might reject it
Signs keep showing but I don't connect it
I just wanna leave, point me to the exit
My life wanna stop and I might just let it