Lullaby

Every night when I sleep, open eyes and I meet
Deep thoughts, they repeat, lurk lot, like a creep
Long stock at my feet, lips lock 'round a barrel
Keep it taut in my teeth
Like froth, it'll seep, dig deep like a cleat
Under sheets, like a coward in the night, I should weep
I should keep weed close 'fore I sleep
I should peep out from the cover, but defeat
Is locked in, a lover
All my thoughts grime-dipped, in a gutter
And my heart beat hits like a drummer
What the fuck?
I s-stutter, hardship with my mother
Hot temper and a closed fist
I just hit my brother, now we broken
Know I'm on my way to Hell, I already got my token
Fake fuck, mind thinks different from the words that are spoken
Always moping, always hoping, always hanging by my neck on a rope
Always joke, always find it hard to cope, true
People tell me
I'm like my father
I don't see it we just
Growing farther
I'm a kid
Can't grow much longer
I wish I could just be young forever
Little me just, gone forever
They hate us, we should just be gone together
Life would just be fun together, walk all in the sun together
All forever, we should just be gone together

I'd say I just cry a lot, but that'd be a lie, a lotta fake
Cause I am a man, I got a cape
I gotta be, man, it's my fate
It's how society was built, waiting on society to break
The man in the high tower killed, in my dreams and when I wake
Can't say I don't feel guilt when I steal and use and take
I said sorry to the sky when I killed a bird the other day
I consist in constant shame
By myself when I would play
Sit in corners in the night
In the woods by light of day
I put lies in what I say
Say shit fake to your face
Wanted that truth, it got away
Is not new, it was always
I'm not a good person, you could say
Scary to mother, she'll never hug
Yelling and throwing, they call me insane
Into the trees, I runaway
Out in the streets, in a puddle, play
My head is a world of its own in little ways
I can picture the details of a grave
Says my name, and it's far away
I predict my death to be peaceful
It'll happen when I'm old (I should hope)
When it comes I hope I'm told, rather sung
A beautiful lullaby