Confessions Part III

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These are my confessions
Just when I thought I said all I could say
I came up with more secrets to tell you today
These are my confessions
Slipped my mind the last two times, silly me
So now I gotta give you
Part three of my confessions
First I told you 'bout the skank
That I was cheatin' wit' (Wit')
Then I mentioned she's having my kid
That's not all, no, I recall more you see
So I give you part three of my confessions

Now this gonna be the hardest thing I
Think I ever had to do
Gonna tell you everything I left out
Of Parts 1 and 2
Like remember when I told you
That I knew Pauly Shore?
Pauly Shore that's a lie
I don't know what I said that for
I borrowed your Chapstick
(from you) without asking
Oh, and I tried out your nose hair trimmer
Too and, by the way
Your diamond ring is cubic zirconium
I killed your goldfish accidentally
Just replaced it with another one

These are my confessions
Just when I thought I said all I could say
I need to get some things
Off my chest right away
These are my confessions
Slipped my mind the last two times, silly me
I guess I gotta give you
Part 3 of my confessions
Threw up on your dog last time
I had too much to drink
There've been times when I peed in your sink
Don't know why, but you and I should agree
That belongs in Part 3 of my confessions

Baby, forgive me
I'm still trying to figure out
Why I used your toothbrush to
Clean off the bathroom grout
Oh, and sometimes, in private
Really like to dress up like Shirley Temple
And spank myself with a hockey stick
Hockey stick my boss thinks I'm a jerk
Didn't get that raise
I haven't changed my underwear in 27 days
And when I'm kissing you
I fantasize you're a midget
I'm so sorry, Debbie I mean, Bridget

These are my confessions
Just when I thought I said all I could say
I got a few more secrets I'd like to convey
These are my confessions
Slipped my mind the last two times, silly me
I guess I gotta give you
Part 3 of my confessions
Gave you buttered toast I dropped and
Picked up off the floor
FYI it was not a cold sore
Oops! My bad! But you'll be madder at me
When I finish Part 3 of my confessions

You don't know how hard it is
For me to tell you this
But you remember that shirt you got
Me for my birthday? Well
I returned it for store credit that thing
Was hideous what were you thinking? Oh
By the way
I wasn't really sick last week i just didn't
Want to go to your stupid office picnic
Oh, and when I told you at breakfast we were
All out of Rice Krispies, what I meant was
There was only enough left for me sorry

These are my confessions
Just when I thought I said all I could say
I thought of some more things
That should scare you away
These are my confessions
Slipped my mind the last two times, silly me
I guess I gotta give you
Part 3 of my confessions
Once I blew my nose
And then I wiped it on your cat (cat)
And I lied, yes
That dress makes you look fat
Anyway, I shouldn't say any more
'Til I give you Part 4 of my confessions

I mean, i'm just getting started here
I'm not even halfway
Down the list this thing could go on
For hey! Where are you goin'? Honey? What?
Was it something I said? Ugh women