Canadian Idiot

Don't want to be a Canadian idiot

Don't want to be some beer swillin' hockey nut
And do I look like some frost bitten hosehead
I never learned my alphabet from A to zed

They all live on donuts and moose meat
And they leave the house without packin' heat
Never even bring their guns to the mall
And you know what else is too funny
Their stupid monopoly money
Can't take 'em seriously at all

Well maple syrup and snow's what they export
They treat curling just like it's a real sport
They think their silly accent is so cute
Can't understand a thing they're talking aboot

Sure they got their national health care
Cheaper meds, low crime rates and clean air
Then again well they got Celine Dion
Eat their weight in Kraft macaroni
And dream of driving a Zamboni
All over Saskatchewan

Don't want to be a Canadian idiot
We'll figure out their temperature in Celsius
See the map they're hovering right over us
Tell you the truth it makes me kinda nervous

Always hear the same kind of story
Break your nose and they'll just say sorry
Tell me what kind of freaks are that polite
It's gotta mean they're all up to something
So quick before they see it coming
Time for a pre-emptive strike