In Sickness

And now that the dust has settled I can begin to pick up the fragments
Such devastation left in the wake of something so transient
How deeply I had longed for a moment of clarity
I'm not sure if the fog lifted or was just replaced by my apathy
And I have lied so frequently I convinced even myself what was true
But to finally be honest, I think I preferred the solitude
For all that I've lost, it doesn't feel worth the gain
For all that I've lost, I left it all in vain

It's clear to me now that I feel your absеnce more than I evеr felt your presence
What I knew as sunlight was merely phosphorescence
Regardless of the source, the memory still exists in shadow
A silhouetted reminder of my ability to sink that low
And I'm not here because I was strong
I'm here because I was scared
Even after so long I remained unprepared
Left wondering if I'll ever be capable of enough
In sickness I gave it up

Saw the end in that room
Lost what I thought I knew
What's the difference
What's the difference