You Can't Fool the Fat Man
RANDY NEWMAN
Sittin' with the fat man
Tryin' to get a loan
Talkin' about horses
And the women that we've known
He was spittin' on the sidewalk
Squintin' into the sun
Greetin' all the people
Smilin' at everyone
I said "Hey listen Fat Man
I just can't get a break
Must I pay my whole life long
For just one mistake?
"My brother's in the armed forces
My sister is in jail
Won't you give me fifty dollars
So I can pay her bail?"
He said "You can't fool the Fat Man
No, you can't fool me
You're just a two-bit grifter
And that's all you'll ever be"