Justice as Fairness

[Fairness - spoken]
I like to think of justice basically as fairness

[John Rawls]
Justice as fairness
There's fairness in justice
Justice as fairness
It's so simple. Now all I need to do is express that in 500 pages and people may finally take me seriously! You inspired me! What's your name?

[Fairness]
I-

[Rawls]
I shall call you fairness
Like your hair, yes
And your smile
Inspiring me to write a book in analytic style
These foolish kids could care less
Your awareness is beguiling
Let's join up as a pair
If we lose this moment-

[Fairness]
I'll-
Be right back professor

[Student 1]
Good luck, professor

[Rawls]
Uh, do you know who that was?

[Student 2]
I heard she used to go out with Bertrand Russell

[Rawls]
Wasn't he, like, 100 when he died?

[Student 1]
Uh-huh, I heard she has a thing for big philosophers

[Rawls]
You mean eminent philosophers?

[Student 1]
Let's just say she really got to grips with his Principia

[Rawls]
Damn. If Fairness is gonna love me, I need a bigger... philosophical bibliography
[sung]
When I write my theory, my theory of justice
Fairness will love me, my students respect me
I'll know what justice means
Yes I will know-

[Chorus]
See Professor Nozick!