Harvard Yard!

[Spoken]
Welcome to Harvard! Today's your last chance to pick classes for the fall semester! Let's make 1971 a year to remember!

[Harvard Students]
The court's abandoned the constitution
Between the church and the state
Bearing arms, equal rights, fighting persecution
The unemployment rate's rising
And now the government's raising taxes
A war that we cannot lose
With extortion, abortion, corrupt malpractice
We're all fed up with the news!
(Damn it!)

This wholе world has gone topsy-turvy
None of this makes sеnse
(Who, what, why?)
We gotta fix it, we'll take a stance
'Cause you can't sit on the fence
We've got a duty to fight for justice
(How?)
Both at home and abroad
(Welcome)
It's the start of a bright new year in Harvard Yard

[Philosophy Club President - Spoken]
I spy a shy new freshman! Would you like to join philosophy club?

[John Rawls]
Well, actually, I'm the new philosophy professor!

[Philosophy Club president]
I'm so sorry! It's just- I was expecting-

[John Rawls - sung]
All my life I've known one day I'd make a difference
With a firm insistence to set the world right
I'd win respect, acceptance, I'd prove my own significance
There's no time to wait, the future's looking bright

[Philosophy Club President - spoken]
Well hello! Would you like to join philosophy club?

[Fairness]
Philosophy club?

[President]
We are an open society that debates all the big ideas

[Fairness]
That sounds perfect
[sung]
Back at home the folks are all so narrow-minded
All they do is gossip, it's all such a bore
But I won't be defeatist
It's not that I'm elitist
But at Harvard I'll find what I'm looking for

[Student]
What's philosophy?

[Phil Club President]
Political Philosophy 101 - explore the major issues in today's society, like equality, liberty, justice!

[Fairness]
I can't wait!

[Chorus]
We mustn't tolerate segregation
The right to practice beliefs
Black and white, teaching kids about God's creation
He's the commander in chief!
Civil rights
Hello sir, could you sign my petition?
But paper's bad for the trees!
Let's go march
(Can it wait 'till the intermission?)
No way, come on, after me!
(Sing it)
The world is broken, we need solutions before we can write to Congress
(Vote for me!)
Don't look back there's no way to stop the inexorable march to progress!
We are tomorrow's opinion leaders
Prepare to stand and applaud
(Welcome)
It's the start of a bright new year in Harvard Yard!

[John Rawls - spoken]
It's my honor to welcome you on board a philosophical voyage. It was launched when Plato escaped from his cave, it delivered us truths held to be self-evident, and now the ship docks in the harbor of every one of you!
Uh, so now I ask, why are we here today?

[Student 1]
I think I'm in the wrong class

[John Rawls]
Uh, if you're looking for experimental physics, it's moved across the yard

[Student 2]
We signed up for credits in politics. How are these philosophers relevant?

[Student 3]
They were wrong about all the major issues

[John Rawls]
Thomas Hobbes-

[Student 3]
Supported absolute monarchy. Didn't we fight a revolution against that?

[John Rawls]
Well, Rousseau-

[Student 2]
Wouldn't give women the vote!

[John Rawls]
But Plato-

[Student 4]
Was a fan of slavery!

[John Rawls]
Jesus Christ...

[Student 5]
No, he didn't have much to say either

[Chorus]
You call it academic, we say it's a pandemic
All ideas that are totally spent
We don't want to play along
Learning 'bout right and wrong
In books of dead white men!

[Rawls]
You can't just sit there and criticize if-

[Chorus]
It's out of date and passe!

[Rawls]
Listen
There's so much more than you realize in the works of yesterday!

[Chorus]
Really?

[Rawls]
You're not the first to explore these questions
These books are elementary

[Chorus]
Give it up!

[Rawls]
Let us work to update, revise
Bring them into the 20th century
All right?

[Chorus]
There's no point learning ancient theories
They're more than just dumb and hard

[Fairness]
Oh god

[Chorus]
They belong on the shelf, not out in Harvard Yard

[Rawls - spoken]
Okay, let's start again. What do you think justice is?

[Phil club president]
Immanuel Kant thinks justice is about moral autonomy!

[Student 5]
No, justice is simply a word used by the powerful to justify their power

[Student 3]
No, I'm pretty sure it means redistributing property. Professor Nozick says that's theft

[Student 6]
He's so dreamy...

[Student 7]
Or maybe!
Maybe the answer is relative

[Student 2]
Maybe truth is an empty word

[Student 4]
Maybe opinions are all subjective

[Fairness]
Wait, you sound absurd!

[Chorus]
If no one's ever found the answer
Perhaps one doesn't exist

[Rawls]
Oh no

[Chorus]
Better minds couldn't get there faster, so why should we persist?
All this arguing and debating the problems of mankind
Is intellectual masturbating, we've all made up our minds
There's no such thing as a final answer, so let's get out of this class!

[Fairness]
No way!

[Chorus]
This philosophy's a disaster, so shove it up your-

[Rawls]
Wait!
Changing the world will demand conviction
Argue your point, withstand any query
Back up your views, make a case, convince me
In short, develop a

[Student]
A what, sir?