If I Only Had a Brain

See, I can't scare anybody
They come from miles around
To laugh in my face and eat in my field

Said a scarecrow swinging on a pole
To some blackbirds sittin' on a fence
"Oh, the Lord gave me a soul,
But forgot to give me common sense."

Said the blackbirds, "Well, well, well.
What the thunder would you do with common sense?"
Said the scarecrow, "Would be pleasin'
Just to reason out the reason
Of the wishes and the whyness and the whence."

If I had an once of common sense...
(If he had an ounce of common sense...)

("Well, what would you do Scarecrow?")
I would while away the hours
Conferrin' with the flowers
Consultin' with the rain
And my head I'd be scratchin'
While my thoughts were busy hatchin'
If I only had a brain

I'd unravel every riddle
For every individle
In trouble or in pain
With the thoughts I'd be thinkin'
I could be another Lincoln
If I only had a brain

Oh, I could tell you why
The ocean's near the shore
I could think of things I never thought before
Then I'd sit and think some more

I would not be just a nothin'
My head all full of stuffin'
My heart all full of pain
I would dance and by merry
Life would be a dingle derry
If I only had a brain

If I only had a brain...
(If he only had a brain...)

I could tell you why
The ocean's near the shore
I could think of things I never thought before
And then I'd sit and think some more

Yeah, it would be kind of pleasin'
To reason out the reason
For the things I can't explain
Then perhaps I'd deserve you
And be even worthy of you
If I only had a brain

I could dance and by merry
Life would be a dingle derry
If I only had a brain

If I only had a brain...
(If he only had a brain...)