I'm a Conservative

I used to lead a quiet life
In fact it was a bare existence
I passed out on many floors
I don't do that any more

Hello, my friends
Is everybody happy?
Hey, look me over
Lend me an ear
I'm a conservative

I like the small black marks on my hands
I'm a conservative
I like the crazy girls that I screw
Hey, I know them all well

And when I run out of bread, I laugh
All the way to the bank
Sometimes I pause for a drink
Conservatism ain't no easy job

I smile in the mornings
I live without a care
Nothing is denied me
And nothing ever hurts

I got bored, so I'm making my millions
When you're conservative, you get a better break
You're always on the right side
When you're conservative

You walk with pride
Pride is on your side
Pride, pride, pride
Is on our side
Oh boy
Pride is on our side

I like my beer
I like my bread
I love my girl
I love my head

I'm in the clear, man
I'm in the dear
Because I'm a conservative
I'm a conservative
I really am
Oh yes I am

And it would mean so much to me
If you would only be like me
Yes, it could mean so much to me

Hey, look me over
Lend me an ear
I'm a conservative