Smoking At The Gas Station
Helena Deland
Smoking at the gas station
Desperate for attention
In small gestures of protest
Trace the outline of my hand
So I'm reminded where I end
Say this is no contest
To be loved by you
I need to get out of the house today
To try my face
Out on strangers
And if anyone’s to look my way
I’ll latch onto their gaze
Demanding answers
How to look more like you?
How can everything feel so familiar?
Do I have to mourn feeling anything that’s unfamiliar?
How can everything seem so familiar?
Do I have to mourn?
(I can’t seem to let it in
To change me again)