In Search Of The Antidote (Voice Memo)

I'm a sucker for the thrills of the heart
It's specialty of mine
Breaking my own parts just to piece it all back together
But maybe that's the whole point
Become absolutely nothing, realize you are everything
Depends on the lens you look through, the lens you anoint
Feel the full range of loving to the infinite corners of the heavens and deep sea diving to the depths of the pain
I live for the еyes, I live for the crush
A rеminder of the beating inside of my chest
A reminder of the lust for life
For the medicine I have found in different things
Women, the road, and gods and angels that sing
My family, strangers' lips and bottles of confidence in the waves of my own hips
And running from hearts that I never meant to break
A train wreck you can't help but watch
Wondering why it's my favorite role to play
Like Julia Roberts, she's always been the good girl gone
The one that got away
The unknown makes me nervous, that's why I'm scared to get attached to you, to anyone, anything, even myself at that
I don't know if that's just fear or my ego talking 'cause what if tomorrow I'm not what I want and I don't like what I see
That's why I like pretending some nights, that one of these days days I'll be doing better maybe
Sometimes, I want to abandon you Cari
And other times I want to make a home out of you
Someone once told me two things can be true
Maybe I'm not the girl of my dreams, maybe I am
So I dare you to lead me on
Show me what you're so afraid of
Show me you can take me on a journey to the past, present and future, through the eras of us
I don't know much, but what I do know is that it's one hell of a journey
One hell of a show
One hell of a joy ride
In search of the antidote