Fanbase Only Song

Get on the phone the drummer's got a bad toe
It isn't exactly life threatening though
Tell the fans what's up, what's down
What's the body count?
It must have been a great show, every motherfucker said so

Get on the phone the van's got a fucking split right down the middle of the windscreen
I guess that it's taken one for the team
I guess that oh! we are stranded on the M4
Now get on the phone before the walls talk, the jaw-jaw

Get on the phone the support band are shit
And no, I'm not fucking standing for it
Tell her that a PA is a privilege, not a right
And keep your problems to yourself
At least until the second night

Get on the phone the desk job is so near
I can smell the sulphur in the atmosphere
Or is it just too hot in here?
Tell the fans to shut up, throw down
What's the body count?

It must have been a great show, every motherfucker said so