Somewhere That’s Green

I know Seymour's the greatest
But I'm dating a semi-sadist
So I've got a black eye
And my arm's in a cast

Still, that Seymour's a cutie
Well, if not, he's got inner beauty
And I dream of a place
Where we could be together at last

And what kind of place is that
Honey? An emergency room?

Oh, no it's just a day dream of mine
A little development I dream of
Just off the interstate
Not fancy, like Levittown
Just a little street, in a little suburb
Far far from urban Skid Row
Oh, I dream about it all the time
Just me, and the toaster
And a sweet little guy like Seymour

A matchbox of our own
A fence of real chain link
A grill out on the patio
Disposal in the sink
A washer and a dryer and an ironing machine
In a tract house that we share
Somewhere that's green
He rakes and trims the grass
He loves to mow and weed
I cook like Betty Crocker
And I look like Donna Reed
There's plastic on the furniture
To keep it neat and clean
In the Pine-Sol scented air
Somewhere that's green

Between our frozen dinner
And our bed-time: nine-fifteen
We snuggle watching Lucy
On our big, enormous twelve-inch screen

I'm his December Bride
He's father, he knows best
The kids play Howdy Doody
As the sun sets in the west
A picture out of Better Homes
And Gardens Magazine far from Skid Row
I dream we'll go somewhere that's green