Record Player / Executed

I bought this record player
From a bloke the other day
When you put a song on, it always goes a bit wrong
Though at first, it sounds OK

It seems to speed up slowly
At the start of the second verse
In the bit that comes after it gets faster and faster
And the chorus, it gets a lot worse

I love my record player
Can't beat a bit of vinyl
The crackle more than makes up for the times it's unreliable
I love my record player
It's that one authentic sound
It's fun to stick a biscuit on and watch it spin around

When you are wooing ladies
The groove improves your luck
There's a high chance of sex with Barry White on the decks
Though the needle will get stuck...
Will get stuck...
Will get stuck...
Will get stuck

Love my record player
Can't beat a bit of vinyl
The crackle more than makes up for the times it's unreliable
I love my record player
It's that one authentic sound
Fun to stick a biscuit on and watch it spin around