Not Around

Been mistreated anytime that my heart was involved
I'm appalled that you believing lies that come out yo jaws
Had some run ins with the devil seems I'm punished by god
Had some run ins with an angel, but it's all a facade
I'm a cod out the water, wit no claim to a pond
I'm a pawn in the shuffle, you abuse when you want
Heart baton-ing getting broken, then it's passed right along
Then on cue a sui urge, but I'm knowing that's wrong
Tell my momma I'm okay, I'm just writing a song
And if I die before she wakes, you can tell her she wrong

Suicide, I tried to fight but it's weighing me down
I got the world on my shoulders who gon carry it now?
I want experience like Harriet Tub' and be proud
They say dying is scarier, but I don't see how
Suicide makes you a bitch, well I'll terrier growl
Only thing that I'm fearing when them pills not around
My head stuck in the clouds
Knee deep in the crowds of evil cowards creeping keepin' me locked in the pound
Leaving cuts around my neck leash not tied to the ground
Flesh merged with the trees, but i ain't making a sound, nigga

Only thing that im fearing when them pills not around