Let Me Fix Your Business (In2lude)

[Skit: Louis Rei]

Louis:
How's it vibrating, my felines and free minds?
It's the L Doctor at your cervix here, manifesting your wet dreams to realities, on the one and only frequency they call, 'WSTRN Season'. Right now, we're deep inside the segment of the show I like to call, 'Let Me Fix Your Business'. We got some beautiful ladies with some ugly problems... I'm just here to assist you, baby!
I hope ya feel me!
Caller number one, gimme a lil' sumn' sumn'... ow!

Caller #1:
"I'd like to know why my man will cry over football, but will never cry over me! When none of the players in the team that he supports will suck his d*** and rub his back, or cook food for him. Please, please tell me why tears are coming from his eyes."

Louis:
Oh you one of them good women!
Aye look kitten, you just need to pour some 'purr' in your persistence, ya know what I mean? Some of these kids ain't learnt from nursery so you can't blame then now. But it's a big playground now so if you ain't happy with your situation, you need you some scintillation. Heh, in fact I do one-on-one consultations, so I'll get my assistant to get your details after the show and we can have some in-depth conversations...
Next caller, talk to me, lemme feel you!

Caller #2:
"[French accent] I love this guy but I don't know how to talk to him. So, voila, si vous plait, I-, I just need some help."

Louis:
Haha, oh you fly, baby! You sound like something out The Aristocats, heh. Where's my manners, in fact?
See, what had happened, is that you started talking for reasoning and I got lost in translation and-
Long over short, heh, I'ma get my assistant to get your details after the show, get the translation team to translate what you're saying and, uh, I can take it from there. Well yo, it's the full-time stoner, part-time sober, 'all di gyallie affi tek an’ ben’ ova'. Yo we got a live caller, talk to me. Let's get sexy!

Caller #3:
"WHO is about to get 'real sexy'? I need you to understand like-
You are not about to take me for a dickhead, yeah! Who's your assistant? Who is your f***ing assistant? 'Cos I don't know you to have no f***ing assistant. You're not a boss, you don't have an assistant, you know like that
You're just moving like you got some personal life, chatting to all these girls giving them advice; YOU need the advice, my brudda! It's you that needs the advice, yeah? El doctor, el dickhead, whatever the f*** it is. I don't know, you're not taking me for a dickhead init. You can go take someone else's daughter for a fool. It's not gonna be me, you hear me? So how about this? How about you cancel all your little radio shenanigans, yeah, and you be a real fucking man! How about that?"
Louis:
You're tuned into, uh, the frequencies of WSTRN Season, on, uh, the boy Delux-
Just L... yeah. And there's nothing better to get you through some rough, rough times and some smooth grooves, heh, yeah. So even when you're feeling like number two, just make sure you're taking care of number one. Stay blessed, people