Oh! Mr. Hairdresser

Oh, Mr Hairdresser
Do me a hair sculpture with your magic tweezers
Ease it, tease it and then grease it
For the fringe and then leave

Oh, Mr Cat Burglar
Thieve me some muesli from Van Morrison
Lay it random on the verandah
So the passing cull of Uganda can conceive

Oh Mr Magnetical Rush
Wave your special gloves in an arc
Prepare a lovely crisp salad
And have sex with a kex or a bullet caravan

Go on then Bob, play your mandolin

Thanks!

Arrrgghhh!

Oh Mr Bogus Pendant Salesman
Why do I buy from you pendants made from ice?
Make me one made in the shape of Africa
So I'll know what it looks like when I go there

Oh Mr Serial Killer
Kill my serials with your wipeout glove
Stop them coming for me at midnight
With the axes made of bran and their knives of nuts

Oh Mr Keyboard Wizard
Go twiddly-twiddly-dee under the cloak
Cover your face with your cape
So that all the dull waters can't see you smiling at them
Yes!

Go on then Bob!

Hahahaha!

Take it away!

Faster! Faster!