A Healthy Normal American Boy

From Bye Bye Birdie soundtrack

(Reporters asking questions-spoken)
Reporter 1: How does Conrad feel about going into the army?
Albert: How does he feel? You ask how he feels.
He's much too shy to tell you so I'll tell you how
he feels. He feels brave and eager,
strangely humble. Proud to be a plain G.I.
Rosie: He would gladly, face those bullets, for he's not afraid to die.
Girls: For he's a fine abstanding patriotic, healthy normal American boy.
Albert (spoken): And that's why he volunteered.
Reporter 2 (spoken): Volunteered? I heard he appealed 3 times!
Rosie (spoken):Sing!
Girls: We love you Conrad,
oh yes we do, we love you Conrad,
and we'll be true. When you're not near us,
we're blue/ OH Conrad we love you.
Reporter 3 (spoken): What's the picture on you and
that Hollywood star? Are you two engaged?
Rosie(spoken): Is he engaged?
Is Conrad engaged? There's absolutely nothing to the rumor he's engaged.
Albert: She's a real pal.,
like a sister, but it doens't mean a thing.
And that 18 karat diamond, it was just a friendship ring.
Girls: For he's a fine abstanding patriotic, healthy normal American boy.
Reporter 4 (spoken): Then why was her husband so mad?
Albert (spoken): Sing!
Girls: We love you Conrad,
oh yes we do, we love you Conrad, and we'll be true.
Albert (spoken): Why, I'll never forget Conrad's first
word's when he heard he'd been accepted into the armed
forces. 'Gee Mr. Peterson' he cried eagerly,
'Do you think they'll assign me to one of those frontline
trenches (army talk here I don't know what they're saying)
Reporter 5 (spoken): Is it true you found Conrad in a reform school?
Rosie & Albert: That is a lie.
A lie through and through. I'll tell you where he
came from here's the story and it's true.
Rosie: He was born in Indo-China.
Albert: He was born in old Virginia
Rosie: Son of missionaries there.
Albert : On a thousand acre farm.
Rosie: Very poor and very hungry
Albert: From a line of wealthy planters.
Rosie: What a awful life to bear.
Albert: Full of genteel, southern charm!
Rosie: Then he drifted down to Hong Kong
Albert: In evening by the river,
Rosie: To a waterfront saloon.
ALbert: In the moonlight he would croon.
Rosie: That is where we heard him singing.
Albert: That's where Conrad started singing.
Rosie: 'neath that diry Hong Kong moon
Albert: 'neath that old plantation moon.
(while Rosie and Albert sing "America",
chorus sings the conrad theme song-it's all
one big integrated mess)
ch: We love you COnrad, oh yes we do,
we love you Conrad, and we'll be true.
When you're not near us, we're blue. Oh Conrad we love you.
Albert & Rosie (over chorus): Oh beautiful for spaceious
skies for amber waves of grain.
America, America, g-d shed his grace on thee.
All: For he's a fine abstanding patriotic, healthy normal American boy.