Lost Control

Stand up or lay low? I never know
Should I kiss? Should I talk? Should I stay? Should I go?
So many times at the crossroads of fear and love
I'm moving, but it's down. I'm afraid I'm falling down
So many people tell me to wake up early every day
Be a responsible man, work hard, carpe diem
Grandpa said: The more you sleep the less you live
Now that's looped in my head until I'm dead
I've been on the right track, but not for long
I'm afraid I've become what I hate the most
It's my head that everybody wants to cut and to hold
But before they get it the stress may make it explode
Theme parks, mansions, video games, lovers
Clock rings, I snooze but I dream I work
Lord, is this a test or a joke?
My cover is my undercover you know
Regret is the price to pay
But my dreams are the only place where my fears can't catch me
I would like so much to share, but it's so hard to deal with them
I'm so lonely, so lonely, so lonely
More than once I've been awakened violently
By the ring, bad news, crying. Why me?
Whisper and scream. That's past so let it
Go and wait for better calls. Stop negativity
But some visions destroy you instantly
Try to dig it, at least fake it. Keep positive
You don't go away when you smell it
You always wait too much and taste it
I've lost my keys, my cell phone, my I.D
My soul, my cause, my hope, my self-esteem
I've found caffeine, nicotine, THC, absinthe
And many more things that rhyme with these
I've lost innocence in different holes
I want to lose the bugs. Will they leave me alone?
Will I lose Morpheus and the Stockholm Syndrome
I'm out of time losing momentum to find my goal
I've lost control. I'm lost
I'm confused, con-fused, confused in confusion
I'm afraid I can't recover self-control
I would like so much to share
But it's so hard for me to deal with them
I'm so lonely, so lonely
I'm afraid I can't recover self-control
I would like to love again
But it's been so long and I'm too old to care
I'm so lonely, so lonely... I'm so fucking lonely
Daddy, please, don't make me go
Mommy, please, tell him to stop
I've lost control