SALAD DAYS

Aye, I come from nothing, all I was taught was to struggle
If we got money, mama got lost in a bottle
We couldn't function, eatin' McDonald's for supper
I had two options, either was school or the hustle
School was a bust, but I learned to pick up the pen
I stayed in it, 'cause stepdaddy sold, my uncles lived in the pen
My dad was absent, showed me first had what drugs did
Saw where that path went, thought I'd see where mine led

I hit rock bottom
I was a dropout
Had a drug problem
My soul was lost now

I was seventeen with a piece of me missin'
Searchin' for a cure that was always so distant
Snortin' what I could just to try to feel different
Turned eighteen with an intent on heavy drinkin'
Blew six bands too fast, no thinkin'
Blacked out half the time, bein' mindless was the mission
Everything's the same shit on a different day
My potential's wasted, never give, just take
Life like this never really matters
Live like this and you're lookin' for answers
Lotta long nights I spent reminiscin'
Brothers used to be, now they all gone missin'
Lost to distance, addiction, or simply just life
Either way things changed, I never intended strife
Homie told me, "Get it!", I got it
As soon as I had it, our paths had departed
I'm stuck with this ghost of a brother
But I got a fam, so the scar is uncovered
Really hate when I live in the past
But when I'm lookin' back, I'm ignoring the facts
If I could go back, then I wouldn't
I'd only find out what I couldn't

Every severed tie
Every runny nose
Every other night
Didn't wanna know

Too used to spendin' a cheque, soon as I get it
Too used to smokin' 'til I only have resin
Too used to the music playin' every session
Can't remember a time I wasn't stressin'

Back when Random was the anthem for me and my homies
Only thing tyin' us together was our habits and O'Neill
I had no meal, the distance between us was growing
Couldn't notice, I was smoking as the circle shrunk slowly
Best friends became strangers, word to Yum Dodi
Old days seem like the gold days 'til you remember the pain you were holding
I was zoning on better days, not trying to live in a better way
Couldn't own up to the moment, my focus was levitate
The salad days were the saddest days
Blazed every day, life was a cloudy haze
Lost in a maze of my mind and it's reflective gaze
Choosin' my own path in all the baddest ways
Knew I had to hit bottom so I could climb back up
There was happiness in the grief of every line I'd cut
The yin-yang of my blackouts made time add up
Just barely saw the light whenever I was stuck

Everyday was the search for a sesh, I had no plans
Used to skip class to take bottles into Sarcan
To put five on a G when ins were in demand
Long walks with Paulberg, E-SC, or the B-Rad
Stoned beyond control on Elphinstone mobbin'
Ignoring our futures as if we had options
Plottin' on these raps was the only constant
Lost in my mind, didn't see my brodies often
My potential was a phantom, my grades dropped in tandem
Threw my liver off the deepend with my thoughts, couldn't stand 'em
In a jail cell of my brain cells, writing was my only passion
Only escape from that insane hell, life was out of fashion
Best friends became memories and my past burned in ashes
Tryna recollect history and it all comes in patches
Living without regrets is the worst path of action
But I don't regret a thing, 'cause it all had to happen