The Adventures Of Linda Bohannon

In a town about the size
Of a truck-stop or bigger
Lived Linda Bohannon, a natural queen
She lived with her folks in
A little white farmhouse
She helped out by hoeing the
Corn and the beans
Sometimes she would stare at
Herself in a mirror
And any would say, there was much to admire
Every turn of the curve of
Her body was flawless
From pretty white teeth to
Her shiny blond hair one day
As she stood by the road leading westward
In blue jeans and t-shirt
And mail-order boots
The tractors and trailers and pick-ups
Saw Linda the drivers all slowed down
To holler and hoot they received
Not a smile from miss Linda Bohannon
No bag and no brush did she hold in her hand
Just Linda Bohannon, a physical treasure
Stepped into a light-blue Mercedes Benz
And this is one of those times
That we wish we knew the
Missing parts to these stories
But this is all we know
She was missing a week and
Her parents were worried
She called Sunday morning and said
"I'm okay"
Well, Bohannons don't talk much
But we found out later
She called from a movie star's house in LA
She's home now and been here
For six years or seven
She brought home a baby, a fine-looking lad
Well Bohannons don't talk much
And Linda don't either
And nobody told us a thing about his dad
Well she's pretty as ever and she
Works in a gift shop
Looks after her boy and she
Don't ask for help
She watches the re-runs of an old TV western
And the boy looks a lot like a re-run himself