Don’t Tell I, Tell ’Ee

[Verse 1]
Never been to school
I've never been to college
Sooner be dead than stuff me head
With a load of useless knowledge
I never couldn't see
No point in history
'Cause I weren't there
So I don't care
So don't tell I, tell 'ee

[Chorus 1]
Don't tell I, tell 'ee
That's my philosophy
When folks do cuss
And start a fuss
Don't tell I, tell 'ee

[Verse 2]
Young Sarah Jones one day
Got in the family way
Her father come with a girt big gun
Said, "Ee, you'll have to pay,"
He chased I up a tree
I hollered, "Leave I be
I happen to know 'twere old Fred Snow
So don't blame I, blame 'ee."

[Chorus 2]
Don't tell I, tell 'ee
That's my philosophy
When folks do swear
And tear their hair
Don't tell I, tell 'ee

[Verse 3]
I took a ride one night
A PC hove in sight
He made it up
Because I'd got no brakes, no bell, no light
"I'll sling the book at 'ee,"
That copper said with glee
I said, "Sling all you like, 'tis your dad's bike
So don't tell I, tell 'ee."

[Chorus 3]
Don't tell I, tell 'ee
That's my philosophy
When folks do fuss
And start to cuss
Don't tell I, tell 'ee

[Verse 4]
I got a lift to town
From good old farmer Brown
In a ten tonne truck with a load o' muck
When he set us down
A drink we did agree
It would be good for we
The barmaid Rose, she held her nose
I said, "Don't smell I, smell 'ee."

[Chorus 2]
Don't tell I, tell 'ee
That's my philosophy
When folks do swear
And tear their hair
Don't tell I, tell 'ee

[Bridge]
Oh, ah, then, clever stuff

[Verse 5]
The vicar came along
He said, "You know 'tis wrong
You gets tight on a Friday night."
I answered 'ee real strong
"Now, parson, you'll agree
The Lord created me
And I'm afraid 'tis how I'm made
So, don't tell I, tell 'ee."

[Outro]
Yeah