I Don't Like Who I Was Then

Tossed around like sea glass and you rounded out my edges
I'll feel better when the headaches go away
I got a scar across my forehead, turning purple in the cold
From a night at shore memorial
I was 16 and afraid
Turned away, like I'm working baby face
Out of mid-south in the 80's
I kept a blade hidden in my wrist tape

I think I'm growing into someone you could trust
I want to shoulder the weight until my back breaks
I want to run until my lungs give up
If I could manage not to fuck this up
If I could manage not to fuck this up
I think enough is enough

Hidden in the tall grass in the naked light of day
I put my past-self in the ground
I've been dancing on the grave
I'm not the person that I was then
I'm tearing him away
I was bitter. I was careless
I was 19 and afraid

But you deserved more from me
I don't know why I would say those things
But you deserved more from me and I'm trying every day

I think I'm growing into someone you could trust
I want to shoulder the weight until my back breaks
I want to run until my lungs give up
If I could manage not to fuck this up
If I could manage not to fuck this up
I think enough is enough

You left me walking in circles
You were a shot in the dark
You were the baby teeth I buried
You were the sounds of distant cars

You left me walking in circles
You were a shot in the dark
You were the banner that says "no one"
That I tattooed across my heart

You left me walking in circles
You were a shot in the dark
You're scattered like ashes across every song that I write
You're where the light pollution starts

I think I'm growing into someone you could trust
I want to shoulder the weight until my back breaks
I want to run until my lungs give up
If I could manage not to fuck this up
If I could manage not to fuck this up
Enough is enough