My Husband Was a Weatherman

My husband was a weatherman
He was right all the time
He knew when there'd be snow in Toledo
And freezing rain in Niagara Falls

My husband was a weatherman
The seventh son of a seventh son
On a first name basis with that old groundhog
Yes he was, he was the one

Oh, he had a reputation
As the master of prognostication
But it wasn't just the weather that he'd know
Oh, no!

He'd let me know when we got up
Just how our day would go:
"This morning we'll have fun
And then in the afternoon we'll have
A little argument, but hey, don't worry --
You'll win"

I know that when he'd tell me what would be
It was to save me from frustration
He'd say "Darling, let's eat out
Tonight you'll overcook the trout
I've phoned ahead for reservations"

My life no longer seemed my own
He knew more about me than me
He'd say "Honey, not tonight
You won't climax, on, no
And we'd only have a fight"

I could not take it anymore
I packed my bags, and at the door
I said I didn't want to know
How every minute of my life would go
"I'll miss you, but I'm going away
Good-bye, my love"
He said "Hey, that's O.K. -- you'll be back"