Quiet

I do not want to live like this… I do not want to live like this, my destiny must be something else. I have aways had a pretty strong will and inner voice but I did not know… I have directed it the wrong way. It has become a mess, and I lost myself. Then I suddenly met a healthy person, a guy, when I was 29 years old and my whole life changed completely. I did not understand anything… god what is happening? From going up and down, I had social phobia, I was shy of people, I was scared to meet new people, I always had to drink when I mеt someone… but then I mеt him. He was such a nice human being, as calm and secure as a rock, but then I started to panic. When it all calmed down I started to panic and I thought, “what is this? Can I never feel good? ”. But I didn‘t realize that it would catch up with me, it simply became too calm and my body reacted to it, sending me into another really hard time… it was like I was completely thrown down. I was depressed at the beginning of our relationship, there were huge ups and downs. I had dips for several weeks when I just laid down and felt no happiness or nothing and people said “you should be so grateful, you have such a good guy” but I was completely devastated. Completely destroyed as a human being, and I had never really been allowed to rest. Not rest but just chaos and trauma… my whole life… until I met him. So it was probably my process that started there

When all is quiet
Old wounds heal
It cannot be undone
All nightmares end

The process starts
A way back
Retake a stolen life
Born again