Everyone’s at Home Eventually

When I was young, I had no ambition
No lust, no drive. I was living fiction
Fifteen and fucked, I was so ungrateful
Sixteen and sunk, I was ready to give up

But instead I just drank up
I felt good when I drank
I felt like I was alive
I felt strong for the first time
I felt at home in my own skin

Up until I fell down on my fears
Fell down, for fifteen years
I know I wasted half my life
Drunk on doubt
And now I’ll do without

Woke up in cuffs, no idea what happened
Head torn to shreds, lips completely blackened
No bail required, I was barely processed
As I walked home, the sun hung above my head
And I felt scared
Tired and ashamed
I knew I couldn’t outrun it anymore
And yet I kept on

Up until I fell down on my fears
Fell down, for fifteen years
I know I wasted half my life
Drunk on doubt
And now I’ll do without

Now that I have some distance
Now that I’m clean, I feel like I can have friends
But then again
I think I’ll do without