El Capitan, Act I: “My friends, I fear the worst”

[DON MEDIGUA, spoken]
My friends, I fear the worst: our humble palace will soon be under siege. 

[PRINCESS, spoken]
Then we shall defend it with our life. They can but kill us. 

[DON MEDIGUA, spoken]
That's where I draw the line. 

[ISABEL, spoken]
I'm not afraid, Papa. 

[DON MEDIGUA, spoken]
Neither am I. Matter of fact, I enjoy the excitement. On the other hand... the road outside leads to the Lima-Tomba Highway and I suggest we all take it. 

[PRINCESS, spoken]
Quivering jellies!

[DON MEDIGUA, spoken]
Yes, my dear. Pozzo, escort the "jellies" as far as the gate. 

[VERRADA, spoken]
Don Medigua, before we are surrounded, your daughter and I—

[DON MEDIGUA, spoken]
Well, Señor Verrada?

[VERRADA, spoken]
We wish to have your blessing. 

[DON MEDIGUA, spoken]
Oh, well, we'll all need that in these next difficult hours. 

[VERRADA, spoken]
No, I mean... your blessing. I wish the hand of your daughter. 

[DON MEDIGUA, spoken]
At a time like this? At a time like this even the finger of a child of mine would cause you more trouble than you know!

[ISABEL, spoken]
Papa, Verrada loves me. He's asking for my hand in marriage. 

[DON MEDIGUA, spoken]
His sense of timing is less than perfect. 

[ISABEL, spoken]
But Papa!

[DON MEDIGUA, spoken]
There is a crisis, Verrada. The palace will be under siege. 

[ISABEL, spoken]
Better to die with our love sanctified. 

[VERRADA, spoken]
I shall defend her with my life, Don Medigua. 

[PRINCESS, spoken]
Oh, noble young man. 

[DON MEDIGUA, spoken]
No, no, no, no, no, no! I've never heard of anything so foolish. Now give me her hand back, like a sensible fellow. And let us think of a way to escape. 

[ISABEL, spoken]
Papa! Alas, dear Verrada!

[VERRADA, spoken]
I shall love you until I die. But, sweetest Isabel, what hope have we left?

[ISABEL, spoken]
Don't despair! True lovers never abandon hope. 

[Aside, whispering to VERRADA.]
And besides, when Papa is removed as Viceroy, I'll no longer be above you!

[DON MEDIGUA, spoken]
Children, enough mooning about. We must turn to practical matters. Like life expectancy!

[PRINCESS, spoken]
Ha! And you call yourself the husband of a Princess of the blood royal! Ha! Viceroy of Peru!

[DON MEDIGUA, spoken]
I abdicate. 

[ISABEL, spoken]
But Papa, the insurgents will try to kill you. 

[DON MEDIGUA, spoken]
How can they? They've never seen me. 

[VERRADA, spoken]
True. Not one Peruvian has gotten past Pozzo!

[DON MEDIGUA, spoken]
Which accounts for my continuing good health. Ah, faithful Pozzo, you be firm with these insurgents and I'll promise you the grandest state funeral available in this barbarian state. Meanwhile, my duty is clear. 

[PRINCESS, spoken]
Oh, noble husband. So, you plan to meet Don Cazarro on the battlefield!

[DON MEDIGUA, spoken]
No, I plan to let Pozzo share in my glory. 

[PRINCESS, spoken]
What?

[DON MEDIGUA, spoken]
He may meet Don Cazarro first. 

[POZZO, spoken]
But—

[PRINCESS, spoken]
Don Medigua, this sudden weakness ill becomes you. 

[DON MEDIGUA, spoken]
That's it! I'm ill. Weak... in the knees. 

[PRINCESS, spoken]
Then you have forfeited all claim to our further consideration. Come, daughter. Come, my dear! Jellies!

[DON MEDIGUA, spoken]
That woman's ambition will erect a monument over me yet. 

[VERRADA, spoken]
You realize, sir, that both the senate and the native military are supporting Don Cazarro?

[DON MEDIGUA, spoken]
Yes, alas. Poor Pozzo, you're in for a pack of trouble!

[POZZO, spoken]
I?

[DON MEDIGUA, spoken]
Well, it won't be I. Gentlemen, I've a scheme. Swear you will not betray me if I bare my soul?

[VERRADA & POZZO, spoken]
We swear. 

[DON MEDIGUA, spoken]
Well, then. In order to preserve my incognito—not to mention my life—I intend to become a follower of Don Cazarro!

[VERRADA, spoken]
You?

[DON MEDIGUA, spoken]
I shall breathe insurrection at every step. Rebellion will ooze from my every pore... or at least Don Cazarro will think so! Before I left Spain, I found out Don Cazarro wanted to regain the viceroyship. Gentlemen, have you ever heard of El Capitan?

[VERRADA, spoken]
He's violent. The most violent and bloodthirsty man alive. 

[DON MEDIGUA, spoken]
Or dead. 

[VERRADA, spoken]
El Capitan is dead?

[DON MEDIGUA, spoken]
On the way over from Spain, one of my men was killed in a brawl. His papers proved that he was none other than—

[POZZO & VERRADA, spoken]
—El Capitan?

[DON MEDIGUA, spoken]
Yes! I need not tell you that I read his funeral services myself and dropped him overboard like a hot potato!

[POZZO, spoken]
Bu-bu-bu-bu-but, Scaramba said that El Capitan has already landed and is on his way here. 

[DON MEDIGUA, spoken]
I spread that rumor myself. And "El Capitan" shall not disappoint his fans. He is dead... but I am not. I shall join the insurgents as El Capitan myself. His reputation is enormous... and it's all my own invention!

[VERRADA, spoken]
And if you're recognized?

[DON MEDIGUA, spoken]
How? I'm the most anonymous viceroy in Peruvian history. They'll recognize that, not me. 

[POZZO, spoken]
That? Me, your Excellency?

[DON MEDIGUA, spoken]
If the insurgents win, then I'll remain El Capitan. But if they lose, then as Viceroy, I'll hang them all!

[VERRADA, spoken]
Incredible!

[DON MEDIGUA, spoken]
Meanwhile, I've sent a message to General Herbana, the head of the Spanish forces, asking for aid.