Before Spec

Before Spec, I was treated as a doorstep
When you looked at me and saw pain, inside I had more kept
Shit, when I was twelve, I was plannin' a sure death
I felt trapped, lost connections I can't weld back
I was never givin' a fuck where my health's at
School was hittin' me with "you might be expelled" crap
'Cause I was more focused on tryin' to propel tracks
Wakin' up feelin' worthless, having no purpose
Thinkin' "Is this what Earth gives? I don't deserve this"
Always in my room writing nothin' but verses
Felt buried alive, tryin' to get to the surface
While you had a nine to toke, dawg I had to find some hope
These motherfuckers can't see that i'm trying to cope
Don't want a line or smoke, never ask if I was fine or no
I can't but they make me wanna my eye in a scope
If we didn't have gun laws, i'da been dead a long time ago

It's Spectre