Bizarre Novelties

I find it hard to talk
With a black ball in my mouth
Impossible to fart
With a carrot up my ass
My neighbours think I'm weird
I do agree
Whatever turns your crank
Are you into bizarre novelties?
I find it hard to walk
With my thumbs screwed into the floor
I travel to strange places
When left alone to explore

My neighbours think I'm sick
I do agree
Do not try this at home
Unless you're into bizarre novelties