Osmosis

Dear Pop, the fear stopped me from saying this before
But I’m
Grown up, so I’m going to lay it on the floor
It’s time to own up, you’re pumping your liver with liquor
I shiver, you’re getting sicker
Swallowing liquid slivers, drowning in whiskey rivers
For ten years
I let it fly with wings clipped, flight risk
Can’t live to watch you die like this
And I remember when I was a kid looking for my dad but all day’s busy
7 pm hits then the whiskey on your breath spun a small boy dizzy
Got the fam saying, “Who is he?”
Then the hourglass cracked, matched with that sour mash Jack
How is that trap, Dad?
Now you’re on your last lap trying to tap dance between fact and a flask
I remember when we packed in that van down to Florida
Mom said you was a goner, call the coroner
She said you loved that whore more than her
And I sat stirred like what the fuck is lady luck proving?
You moved in with that 86 proof
Actually mix in the solution
The battery of my disillusion
And I know this is useless, so be it with the rest
But I had to get it off of my head and out of my chest
And
I’m watching you washing it down
Watching you drown
Lost in the now, lost in the then
Trying to find the zen with a frost-bitten frown
Every night you left your son behind the Earth
But instead of the hurt I learned how the moon works
Got wise, nowadays I stop by
See the same eyes rolled back in your eyelids
Passed out, man down
I’m a siren screaming silent in this glass house
I didn’t want to make this sound cause I’m that proud
But I’m trying to be a man
Plus trying to find my dad some land to land
He’s drowning in Jack Dan quicksand
Doing all he can to keep the fam together plus stand the weather
Dad, I understand the pressure
Trying to pay the bills plus kill life’s ills
But out of that fracture none of that mattered //
We needed a role model
Not a robot who holds bottles just to chase the day
I hate to see you waste away
Your face decays and fades to grey
But damn, Dad, you’re the greatest man I know when you’re sober
But I watch you transform into a king cobra
Once that drink soaks up in your blood
And I’m proud to be your son
But I can’t
Act passive, can’t stand back or laugh at it
The sad fact is we’re
All addicts
You’ve got one wife who’s heart’s broken
Two sons
Pot smoking
One daughter out roaming
Four people that knew
You before you got loaded
It might be a lost notion but it’s time to stop soaking
You’ve got a bottle of Jack and a bleeding hand
It’s osmosis to a decent man
You used to read it, Dad, Hop on Pop //
Now you’re lost on scotch
“sad dad, bad, had”
My last gasp and I’m through with it
I just wish that you could quit
It’s a bad taste
And I’m watching you washing it down
Watching you drown
Lost in the now, lost in the then
Trying to find a zen with a frost bitten frown