Closure

I walked in the house to my grandma OD'ing
I'm screaming out help me she's not even breathing
Like Linda don't do this, wake up, please don't leave me
I can't fucking do this, grandma can you hear me
I shook her awake asking her about her meds
By now both her eyes in the back of her head
And she mumbling words I don't know what she said
Grandma get up please get out of the bed
And my heart racing I pull the phone out I'm dialing
911 help me, the voice on the other end
Asking me questions I could hardly answer
The fear and the anger now that was a factor
I'm paralyzed, terrified that it's too late
Open your mouth for it's really too late
She saved your life this is how you repay her
Speak the fuck up come on don't be a coward
I'm off of the phone now I'm shaking and trembling
Grandma what did you just do with your medicine
Asking her questions like what is my name
Or what is yours or who's to blame
I know that it's hard and you're always in pain
But you can't leave like this man this shit is insane
Somebody tell me where the fuck is the ambulance
Panicking, she's getting stiff like a mannequin
Knocks at the door and I'm sure they arrived
And they asking her questions with lights in her eyes
Now they asking me too and I feel under pressure
I look over now and she's up on the stretcher
I'm calling my dad and my uncle's like help me
I'm not even worried I'm just feeling empty
God please don't do this just take me instead
If only I knew this was the start of the end
Sometimes I feel like God made a mistake
Like he toys with our minds and he fucks with our faith
As he's testing our will or reviewing our strength
Writing the names of who go through the gates
But if I'm wrong then why'd he take Michael
There was no sign of a him as suicidal
So tell me right now how the hell did we miss it
I miss my brother I'll never forget him
Everyone gossiping, talking at school
Spreading rumors off of shit they assumed
Crowding his girlfriend all for the truth
Begging and harping like what did he do
Insensitive pricks would not let her free
I tried to be there for all of her needs
Suffocating there was no room to breathe
Clock was ticking there was no time to grieve
We went out for lunch and she told me what happened
She said it was suicide from the car accident
Now I'm stuck here conflicted confused
Like how the fuck you even process that news
And I tried to take mine and go straight to the booth
But no song was good enough that was my view
A week goes by and we're all at your funeral
I meet your parents for the very first time
We all say hello with tears in our eyes
Knowing no one was ready to say a goodbye
So many people that showed up were fake
They never knew you, they just knew your name
Man that shit killed me but I shrugged them off
God will judge them let em' know they were wrong
Jennifer, Jason, I loved your son
And I promise his memory will always live on