Sassy Britches

[Verse 1]
I once knew a girl named Sassy Britches
And she would call my name three thousand times a day
She was running 'round town burning bridges
Now my ride home's never quite the same
I once knew a girl named Sassy Britches
And I swear unto you it's her God-given name
I told her friends they're stuck-up bitches
And now my napkin's soaked with bloodstains

[Pre-Chorus]
The more you learn the less you know
I'll bet everything is fine
I'll bet everything is fine
The more you see the less you show

[Chorus]
Oh yeah, everything is fine
This shit happens all the time
Oh yeah, everything is fine
This shit happens all the time

[Verse 2]
Her family showered me with countless riches
Yet I'm in a bit of a bind, I need much more than that
Maybe I could sell her cooking, classy (tasty) delicious dishes
Then give my spiel about how it's imported

[Pre-Chorus]
The less you seed the more you grow
I'll bet nothing is on time
I'll bet nothing's ever on time
The more you see the less you show

[Chorus]
Oh yeah, everything is fine
This shit happens all the time
Oh yeah, everything is fine
This shit happens all the time
I need something I can't find
Oh yeah, everything is fine
This shit happens all the time
This shit happens all the time

[Break]

[Verse 3]
I still know a girl named Sassy Britches
And her voice comforts me flying right through thin air
Now I've taken time off work to protest her wishes
But no one's ever around, is there anyone there, anyone there?

[Pre-Chorus]
The more you learn the less you know
I'll bet you're all out of line
(Turn around with the wrong reaction)
I'll bet you're all out of line
(Fake us out with a cheap distraction)
The more you reap the more you owe

[Chorus]
Oh yeah, everything is fine
This shit happens all the time
Oh yeah, everything is fine
This shit happens all the time
Oh yeah everything is fine
This shit happens all the time
Oh yeah, everything is fine
This shit happens all the time

[Bridge]
Oh Miss Britches, sassy and sweet
Tell me what more could a young girl be?
I've got a punk rock band called Love
We've got songs that consist of
8-bar sections, gritty and brash
We got a gig opening for The Clash
Everyone clowned us, Sassy, oh, Sassy
What makes a punk rocker treat us so nasty?
Mountain Dew and a pierced eardrum
What makes a punk rocker act so dumb?
Velvet postcards I'll send ya, Miss Britches
Bit my tongue and received nine stitches
Bitches and hoes always come to the shows
Popping sugar and butterscotch in the nose and it shows
'Cause they'll lose their hair like Ted Danson
Snatch up all the kiddies and then hold 'em all for ransom
Burnin' all your bridges and then build 'em back with plastic
Little old ladies makin' cookies from elastic
Ha, and it don't stop there!
Ex-bass players all have blue hair
Boo-boop-be-doop-a-shang-a-lang-Cocoa-Puff
Kurt Haggadorn has a Self Big Muff
Betcha makes ya dizzy watch the big wax spin
Turn it up to 20, just a suggestion