Firebrand

[Verse]
One foot stuck in the quicksand
The other kicking and thrashing tryna help me stand
Throw hands with myself
The arena the space in my head where my brain lay
Its no mans land
Reprimand myself for not trying enough
Undermanned with no help
Getting up gets rough
Try the slight of hand to improve my health
But my heart a firebrand tied down with a leather belt

My worst fear is that I've been lied to my whole life
More fucked than I thought, more ills that I’ve got
More pills to take to stabilize my destabilized pendulum mood its heartbreaking groove
The tempo changing without my control but at least I get a sense of where it can go
Been up and down tryin not to drown my whole life
But even god leaves the innocent to their own minds of strife

Wish I could see these feelings in iridescent
The colors only shine in dreams its a present
Mama ain't touched the bottle in a minute that's a lesson
Every time I see one I’m tempted gods a testing
See the loaded caisson think of attempting
Then someone comes a calling stop my stressing that's a blessing
Ask for help from the divine he give me no sign, stay stuck in my mind
Red eyes for a wife, fucked inside by design