Repression

I’m not gonna lie
I’m feeling fucked up
Ever since that day you
Left my heart is stained

I been drinking too much
Cup after cup
Some days I feel so empty
Coz I can’t call you baby

& I feel paralyzed
Is this real? So numb

Yeah
I’m now alone, don’t wanna be at home
With your ghost just lurking on my phone
The messages, the pictures
Truth be told

I couldn’t clear out everything that we owned
Some things still hold memories, new or old
As we got further down cracks start to show
All the signs I ignored, man I should’ve known

We were never cut out for this
Arguments all the time, only smiled for pics
Never really noticed how much everything had changed
Till I stepped out the dark. had to change &

I had to quarantine from everything
Got me thinking maybe is this Maybelline
I still feel you on my skin
But I’m shedding it away
Because it is constricting me

I hope one day you hear
The bars I spit
Listen in, thinking that
The hardest part of life is when the person who
Gave you the best memories, becomes nothing but a memory

The days blend into one another
Nothing feels the same
Feel like I’m running out of options
I’m going round in circles

Driving through the night just hoping
Everything is gonna change
100 on the dash I ain’t religious
But I pray it’ll all just be ok

I’m not gonna lie
I’m feeling fucked up
Ever since that day you
Left my heart is stained

I been drinking too much
Cup after cup
Some days I feel so empty
Coz I can’t call you baby

Repressing all of the feels
Is this all real?
Didn’t really wanna think back yeah
It’s all in my head

Don’t regret the past mistakes
Got me to today
Everything will stand for something
I don’t regret nothing

(Yeah)
Friends are turning into enemies
I do not fuck with you with & your energy
Will only bring me down
So stay away from me

I been thinking bout life
How people wanna play me every-time
Coz I been through hell & back to get here
But hell I’ll get up every-time

I can’t do fake friends, got no time for it
You critiquing me but ain’t doing shit
Rolly on my wrist, but I ain’t got the time
Days counting down, don’t look at mine

Racking up bands, stack too my height
No tears left to cry, keeping my eyes dry
I told myself that I’ll never spend another minute
Putting people first who place me as a second picking

All the seconds sat about just hoping, praying, laying wishing
If I would’ve said another thing, would it be the same of different
If I didn’t stick up for myself, just let it slip but thing is
None of me regret it, ‘cause I’ve been better off independent
Yeah

I’m really making everything happen
Vision to reality, now who’s laughing?
Everything I said that I would get, I got 10 now
Haters riding on me say it’s fake
What you talking bout?

I’m not gonna lie
I’m feeling fucked up
Ever since that day you
Left my heart is stained

I been drinking too much
Cup after cup
Some days I feel so empty
Coz I can’t call you baby

Repressing all of the feels
Is this all real?
Didn’t really wanna think back yeah
It’s all in my head

Don’t regret the past mistakes
Got me to today
Everything will stand for something
I don’t regret nothing