Watford Gap

Just about a mile from where
The motorways all merge
You can view the national edifice
A monumental splurge
It's the lonesome traveler's rotgut
Or bacteria's revenge
The great plastic spectacular
Descendant of Stonehenge
And the people come to worship
On their death-defying wheels
Fancy-dressed as shovels for
Their death-defying meals

It's the Watford Gap, Watford Gap
A plate of grease and a load of crap

At one am on Sunday you
Can hear the boys declare
That the other team were fairies and
The ref was Fred Astaire
It's Chopper Ronnie's fan club
On their weekly pilgrimage
To stick the hero's boot in all
The way from Stamford Bridge
And without a solid concrete-burger
No night is complete
Plastic cups of used bathwater
Wash away defeat
It's the Watford Gap, Watford Gap
A plate of grease and a load of crap

The traffic jam is rattling like
A five-mile cornered snake
With fuming pieces falling off and
Steaming in it's wake
The city's like a goolie in
A groupie's stagnant womb
Spaghetti Junction's target in the
Vinegar strokes of doom
The countryside is ravaged like
A syphilitic whore
Yodeling up the canyon is the
Dirty old Blue Boar

It's the Watford Gap, Watford Gap
A plate of grease and a load of crap