Prison

I went to a penitentiary with Gene Wilder… I went to a penitentiary with Gene Wilder… I did a movie. Not me personally. I went to do a film in a penitentiary. I was up there six weeks. Arizona State Penitentiary. It was some… Oh. You’re applauding for that? Arizona State Penitentiary real popular? It was strange because What’s strange about that is that there are no black people in Arizona. I’m not lying. They bus motherfuckers in. I was up there, and I looked at all the brothers… and it made my heart ache. You know… seeing all these beautiful black men in the joint. Goddamn warriors should be out there helping the masses. I felt that way. I was real naive. Right? And the six weeks I was up there, I talked to the brothers. I talked to them. And thank God we got penitentiaries. I asked this one. “Why did you kill everybody in the house?” The guy said, “They was home.” I mean. Murderers. Do you hear me? Real. Live murderers. I thought black people killed people by accident. No. These motherfuckers was murderers. I met one brother. His name was J-Bone. Motherfucker could lift weights. He was in charge. Muscles every-motherfuckin’-where. He was doing a sentence… triple life. How in the fuck do you do triple life? I mean. That mean if he die and come back… he got to go to the penitentiary. Right? They’ll say, “Fuck kindergarten. Get your little ass back in the penitentiary. Motherfucker. You know what you did last time you was here.” And Gene Wilder loved to jump in the middle of the killers… and start talkin’. “Hi. Guys. How you doin’?” I said. “Gene. Bring your ass out of there.” “What do you think they’d do to us if we were here. Rich?” I’d say. “Fuck us.” And Gene would say. “I’m not homosexual.” “Homosexual ain’t got nothin’ to do with it. They don’t fuck you ’cause you like it. They just fuck you just to see that look on your face.” I met one dude… kidnap, murder tour times. I thought three times. That was your ass. Right? No. I said. “What happened?” “I can’t get the shit right. But I’m gettin’ paroled in two years. Brother Rich. I’m gonna fire it up. I got some contacts outside. You know what I mean?” I said, “Yeah, I know what you mean.” See. I wanna know when this motherfucker gettin’ out… who he gonna be with. And it I see him in my neighborhood. I’m just gonna shoot the motherfucker. ‘Cause I do not want to be kidnapped. Take no chance no motherfucker callin’ up my wife… talkin’ about sendin’ some money. ‘Cause that’s really my ass. “Well. Don’t fuck up the suit. That’s what we gonna bury him in.” I’m gonna take my chances. ’cause… Damn if I’m gonna be kidnapped, puttin’ my hands behind my back. They always like to make you put your hands behind your back and shit… and then fuck with you a little while. I say, “No. Motherfucker. Blow my face oft with the shotgun… while I got my hands on your nuts.” So there’ll be some evidence. Right? The police come in: “Open his hand. Well, this guy’s gonna be easy to find. He’s gonna show up to the hospital sooner or later.” They always put that shotgun on you. You ain’t got to do shit. That’s easy to say. But in real life we all know… a shotgun. Your hand will automatically jump behind your back. Even it you don’t want it to. Your hand will say. “Fuck you! It’s a shotgun. Asshole! Give me that rope. I’ll tie myself. Is this a good knot?” Everybody like to be brave in the real situation. Right? But we ain’t so brave sometimes, you know? Sometimes you be brave. Most of the time. We just ordinary… hope we don’t get in no situation where you have to be brave. That’s how the Nazis fucked over people. ‘Cause most people are basically decent. Them Nazis just run over motherfuckers. Black people always say. “I’d have told them Nazis…” You wouldn’t have told them Nazis shit. ‘Cause them motherfuckers didn’t play. You’d be out there talkin’ about… “Hey. Motherfucker! Mr. Nazi!” “What is this?” “Oh, nothin’, just. Uh… Just fuckin’ around. Jack. Like them boots you got on. Hom.” And in the penitentiary. They got all them racist groups. They got the white groups. They act like they’re in New York. They got the Nazi party and the… What do they call it? The Klu Klux Klan. The Mexicans got them gangs you can’t pronounce the names. And they don’t wear no shirts. The black people got the Mau Maus and the Muslims, Double Muslims. Them’s the ones you don’t fuck with… them Double Muslims. ‘Cause them motherfuckers can’t wait to get to Allah… and want to take eight or nine motherfuckers with them. I used to be a thief, and I wasn’t very good. I always got caught. I would steal from neighbors. I wouldn’t take no chances on gettin’ caught too far from home. I’d go over to the neighbors’ house. Wipe them motherfuckers out. I paid them all back now. I try to go back to Peoria. I’m ashamed of myself. “Miss Johnson. I’m sorry I bust in your house.” “I knew it was you, boy.” I don’t know why I would steal. My grandfather was in business. My family was in business. My grandmother owned. Like, three or tour brothels. My grandfather had a pool hall called “Pops Pool Room.” My uncle had a pool room. So there was money in the family. I was a lucky black child… ’cause I never went through no hard times. It was hard. If you wasn’t poor. You couldn’t get no pussy. They say, “We fuck just to keep our minds off eatin’.” I live in Hawaii in a place… I wanted to go to a place where there was no people. And I found the place. There’s 500 people live where I live. And they’re brown. I like that because you can sleep at night. ‘Cause you live around white people in the country, anything can happen. Not that I don’t trust white people. It’s just in the night. You know what I mean? Something happens to white people when you start drinkin’… and when you hear one of them motherfuckers go. “Yee-haw!” You know what I mean? It makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up… ’cause I know what’s next. That “yee-haw” means get a rope and get a black motherfucker. “Why do they have the greatest kind of resistance against a rope? You can lasso a white guy. He won’t do nothin’. Black one. They kinda jerk away.” I like those guys: “You wanna sign this tor my sister?” “Hey. Buddy, you wanna kiss my girl? But not on the lips.” I say, “Okay.” Racism is a bitch. White people, you gotta know. It fucks you up. But what it does to black people is a bitch. It’s hard enough being a human being. It’s really fuckin’ hard enough just to be that. Just to go through everyday life without murdering a motherfucker. It’s hard enough just to walk through life decent. As a person. But here is another element added to it when you’re black. Them mothers got that little edge on us. It’s enough to make you crazy. ‘Cause it you’re in an argument with another man… he may be white, but it’s man on man for a minute… – and the shit get rough. He end up calling you “nigga.” You go, “Oh. Shit. Fuck. Now I ain’t no man no more. I’m nigga now. I got to argue with that shit… and. fuck. Throw my balance all off now.” It’s an ugly thing. I hope that someday they give it up. ‘Cause it don’t work