I Had a Heart

I walk on this frozen lake,
Hoping to hit a spot that's weaker than I was,
A year a half ago.
I remember how Christmas used to be,
Before she spat me out.
And left me to roam this empty place.

If I ran to the city sub lights, I'd still feel dull and worn out.
It's time to start over and move on.
My grandma keeps going on about the New Year
She says "you can't miss what you forget."

I'll spend the night slamming doors,
Smoking outside my grandparents house.
I thought Christmas was the time for us to feel loved.

I feel like no one understands me anymore.
Nothing is how it was last year.
But it's cold and lonely, just like before.

It's time to start over and move on.
My grandma keeps going on about the New Year.
She says "you can't miss what you forget."

I'll sit and wonder who she loves instead of me.
If she told me who it was,
I'm afraid it would rip my heart out
For my family to see.
At least they'd know I had a heart.