Sleepin With My Demons

I've been sleeping with my demons lately
It's been hard, I've been tryna face it
I've been crying every night
I'm just tryna live my life
But some things just seem complacent
If these walls could talk
I swear I'd lose it all
I don't know if imma make it
Been on this journey too long
And I'm tired of being strong
My mental's really breaking, look
April lost my God Dad
His death got me down bad
I see his face frequent, it's usually when I'm sleepin'
I'm tired of my eyes leakin'
I've been breakin' into pieces
Tryna find where the peace is
Where's a shoulder when I need it?
Huh, where's y'all shoulder when I need it?
I've been tryna rid this trauma
On my mama, I ain't average
I always push love away cause I carry too much baggage
Hide the truth in my passion
Too many disappeared, I guess yall good at magic
This is not what I imagined
Naw, this wasn't in the pamphlet
All those lessons that I've stomached, know those blessings comin'
And, the second I'm done runnin', know that check is comin'
A lost soul, I'm tryna find my way
In these songs is where I hide my pain
I keep my head high like my nose bleedin'
I don't trust a soul, I have my own reasons
I've been stabbed in the back, left my soul bleedin'
Keep that fake ass love, I swear I don't need it
Deep breaths, I've been focused on what's next, I've been stressed
Tryna get this weight off my chest, let me vent
Look I ain't been right since
I've been holding on to trauma that I'm scared to express
I've been living with regrets
I swear my life has been a mess, but I'm blessed
Pockets full of presidents
And, my mind full of goals that I'm tryna manifest
Outta breath, I've been running from my problems
DND always on, so please don't bother
I'm just tryna find my solace
I need calmness from world cause I gotta rid this trauma
Making moves, I've been saying less
I can't lose like I paid the refs
I'm in my groove, always taking steps
No excuse, I gotta grind til there's nothing left
I've been sleeping with my demons lately
It's been hard, I've been tryna face it
I've been crying every night
I'm just tryna live my life
But some things just seem complacent
If these walls could talk
I swear I'd lose it all
I don't know if imma make it
Been on this journey too long
And I'm tired of being strong
My mental's really breaking, look
I've been sleeping with my demons lately
It's been hard, I've been tryna face it
These are the Entries In My Diary
Imma let yall all inside of me