Kitty Cat’s Revenge

Well, when I was young, I had a job with the Fire Department Rescue Squad
And we got a call one day to get a cat out of a drainage line
Now the lady was frantic and the day was hot
And she'd mentioned her kitty was an ocelot
A fact that did not seem all that important at the time

'Cause they're usually neutered, declawed, defanged
But this little fella still had everything
And when I found him back in that drainage pipe
He was a tremblin', shakin' mess
Well, I reached to grab him, but he grabbed me first
And that's the worst I thought I'd ever been hurt
But that was before I hit my head
On that big dirt dauber's nest

Since I was on my knees anyway
I thought I'd just offer up a little prayer

Lord, have mercy on me
Save a place in Heaven for me
'Cause we're running outta room in this drainage pipe
Yeah, the cat and the bees don't need no help
They're doin' just fine right by theirselves
But anything you can do for me, Lord
I'd sure be much obliged

Well, everything I grabbed was either tooth or claw
It was like tryin' to fight a circle saw
And those bees, Lord, have mercy, friends
They were all over me
It was a stingin', bitin', clawin' fight
And then I dropped my big flashlight
But it really didn't matter
I was hurtin' so bad, I couldn't see

And on my hands and knees, I couldn't stand up
And I couldn't turn around, so I had to back up
But I couldn't see or remember which way
That I had come in from
And I took a wrong turn and the grade got steep
And then me and the cat dropped 30 feet
And most of those bees followed us down
To that sewage treatment pond

You've heard of steppin' in it, friends?
Heh, heh, I was up to my clavicle

Lord, have mercy on me
Save a place in Heaven for me
'Cause all of my strength is nearly gone
Yeah, those bees are stingin' and the cat can't swim
And I can't get away from either one of them
I think it's time you intervene, Lord
And call somebody home

Then my buddies found me and pulled me free
And, friends, I looked like a Christmas tree
And they sprayed the bees
And gave the lady back her cat
And I went home and showered 14 times
Got bandaged up and I did just fine
But in all my life, I've never hurt so bad
Or smelled quite like that

And I can remember prayin'

Lord, have mercy on me
Save a place in Heaven for me
'Cause we're running outta room in this drainage pipe
Yeah, the cat and the bees don't need no help
They're doin' just fine right by theirselves
But anything you can do for me, Lord
I'd sure be much obliged
Anything you can do for me, Lord
I'd sure be much obliged